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My spouse began accusing me of many things several years ago before we had any idea he had beginning to show signs of dementia. He wound up telling family members, friends, and even my doctor that I was abusing him; abandoned me to go live with a couple who almost killed him and had him steal from our mutual limited income to pay them for living with them, telling them he would get more money from his daughters and cancelling our Life insurance policy because his “friends” need the money for a care, but that wasn’t the end of his delusional behavior that resulted in tearing our family relationships apart in some cases permanently… I’m am sick literally, but the one who has been there for him and advocated for his diagnosis when his doctor refused to recognize the changes in cognition and personality he’d started having, ignoring my requests for a neurological evaluation for 3 years. Long story, but today he is now in a nursing care facility and declined to the point of being admitted to hospice care. The communication between the nursing home staff and the hospice care provider has not been working and there’s been disagreements regarding my husband’s medication, and care in general i.e. the staff taking him out and leaving him sitting in a wheelchair for 3 hrs. because they thought he needed to be out of bed - claiming there wasn’t anyone available to help me move him into his bed to lie down when he was exhausted and then now getting confirmation that it is harmful to his health. My question despite my rambling venting that I apologize for was is there an explanation for the accusations of abuse, when someone has been diagnosed with FTD?

I would talk to the director of Nursing. My daughter has had a problem with one hosppice nurse who felt she was incharge. She was calling family to say LO was dying when what was going on with the resident was normal. Thing is the Nurse maybe comes in once a week. The NH staff do all the work. No drug can be ordered unless thru a doctor and I would think thats the Hospice doctor.

If the Staff is having problems with this particular Hospice, then you can change to another one.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I am glad you were able to vent, and relieved that in your last sentence you did indeed have a question.
It is more normal than not for someone with dementia to be in denial, and to blame those closest to them for everything that goes wrong. They tend also toward paranoia, believing that those closest are trying to "lock them up".
So your answer is that yes, in almost ALL dementia's this is not unusual.

I am sorry for all your woes. I am relieved that your husband is now in end of life care with hospice. Your husband's mind is gone; there is no longer the slightest quality to his life, and quantity is no longer the goal.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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"Is there an explanation for the accusations of abuse, when someone has been diagnosed with FTD?"

Yes, it is the result of a broken brain. If you go on YouTube and watch some Teepa Snow (a dementia and caregiving expert) videos she gives a great, simple explanation of how and why dementia changes how our LOs behave. It has to do with which parts of the brain "break" first and what remains, which is usually the inhibited parts, and thus why people suffering from dementia sometimes are hypersexual, vulgar, negative, paranoid, etc. It's the only working part of their minds that still function at the end of their dementia, unfortunately.

Also from this forum's Care Topics:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm

In your husband's case, it was probably mixed in with paranoia.

I'm so sorry for how it went for the both of you. May you receive solice and rest and peace in your heart knowing you did the best you could.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Sorry for your unpleasant situation. Any type of dementia seems to be a reason for untrue accusations and delusions.
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Reply to againx100
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