Hi. My father in law is in the end stages of Alzheimers and was given weeks to a few months left to live. He had a DNR in place but my mother in law withdrew it and now wants full life saving efforts performed on him. My question is, what options does my husband's family have? It puts myself, him and his brother in a terrible position as we are all EMT's and a nurse and we are required by law to call EMS and initiate life saving efforts on him. What do you recommend and is there anything that we can put in place to not have that happen? My mother in law will not change her mind. I hate the thought of him not being able to pass away peacefully.
Is there hospice involved? I found them to be excellent listeners. Maybe they could help change her mind.
Even as "healthy" as I am I can not imagine the pain that that would cause.
I think your best bet is to try to convince her to reconsider. Explain to her how painful resuscitation may be... broken ribs if cpr, electric shock to restart heart, possible intubation, etc. As EMTs you know the consequences. I assume he's under hospice care. If not, why not? They will provide him with a peaceful, painless, comfortable death. Would she want to harm him to extend a non viable life? I know you can't tell her this, but it's very selfish on her part.
That's the whole points of having these documents. POA doesn't give you the right to change what a person requests when they are of sound mind. You can only honor their wishes and act on their behalf in their best interests.
See an attorney.
I am sorry that your family is facing this. Not like the long goodbye isn't hard enough.