A very good friend of mine, whom we have known and basically call our grandma for almost 8 years now, has gone into a memory care facility, and her one and only son who is the POA has decided suddenly that I can no longer visit her, (he’s let me for the last 5 years) giving no explanation at all, other than having the caregiver at the facility tell me that I could no longer come to visit her (who puts that burden on someone else?) I’ve tried to reach him by phone, text, through his wife, with n0 reply. You would think that being in the care system, it would be nice to have your friends visit you, I just feel like he’s punishing us both. I’m so confused and don’t understand why? It is extremely upsetting! Is this legal?
We discourage visits to my mother-in-law. She is difficult. I believe she would be happy to see her sister, but would manipulate the situation to leave the facility. Once out, getting care for her would be difficult. Everything is about her. Previously she was so difficult at a doctors office (refuses to see women doctors or doctors of other races), she was banned from the entire network. She refuses to bath, has a nasty little dog that isn’t house trained, and everything she has smells bad. She has to be forced to be showered but at 89, we expect her to be around another 6 to 7 years.
She feels she is incarcerated when she could have walked out any time she wanted to do,so but lacked the imagination and wherewithall to do so. We didn’t tell her this, because we also know she would get lost the minute she stepped out the door. She complained about the race of the staff. We told her that she was lucky anyone would take care for her considering how mean she is and that her family is unwilling to do those services because she behaves badly.
We asked my husband’s cousin not to bring his mother for fear of setting MIL off and insisting that she be taken away. Aunt only wanted to make sure sis was ok. She was told that sis has a lovely apartment (true) and is safe (true). Happy is a different story, but she wasn’t told that. MIL is never happy.
My niece became guardian over my stepmother and my father, without me knowing. She can't stop me from flying down and visiting, but YES she stopped all my calls to each of them (now in separate facilities) Yes, they can do that. It's too long of a story (but she's desperate for dad's money) and nothing I can do with courts or social workers now.
Family can get ugly. Especially when money is involved. It's a mess. I am financially independant, but giving my niece $10,000 (to remove their cats) started her ball rolling. It's all out of my hands now. I live too far away, havent talked to my father in 8 years due to a fight. I had no idea he had demensia and my stepmother was sick. (my niece didn't either, but after my mom died and she received no money- she tried contacting my father)
Good luck with everything. Honestly, it is a big issue and my heart goes out to you.