Here's mine: The back-handed compliment with a side of guilt trip! It goes like this:
(1) Opening line is a compliment about how kind and generous I am.
(2) Followed by a very concerned warning that people take advantage of my good nature and I agree to take on too much.
(3) Followed by kindly suggesting that I either "stop letting your job take so much of your time" or "just resign and let someone else do it" (volunteer work).
In other words: The fact that you have a life outside of ME is super inconvenient so just cut that s--t out right now!"
Not a real problem compared to many, but pretty annoying, especially when you get it from the distant, unhelpful relative AND the LO on two consecutive days! :-)
(3) Followed by kindly suggesting that I either "stop letting your job take so much of your time" or "just resign and let someone else do it" (volunteer work).
In other words: The fact that you have a life outside of ME is super inconvenient so just cut that s--t out right now!"
Not a real problem compared to many, but pretty annoying, especially when you get it from the distant, unhelpful relative AND the LO on two consecutive days! :-)
Husband: You're getting a little gray Hon.
Me: Gee, Thanks Babe!
Gheesh, where has he been these last 3 years, and he's only now just noticing? Hmmm, Maybe he hasn't noticed these last 20#'s either! 😉
The voucher ended up being more than I thought. So I emailed his coordinator the letter and the reason why I think the voucher was calculated wrong. He came back and said, yea he thought that was high too. Period. So I called him and he told me to call the voucher lady. ME! Isn't he my nephews coordinator? As such, isn't that his responsibility. I want to step back from some of this responsibility. If I wasn't around, wouldn't he have to take care of it for Patrick? His answer was, yes, I guess so. So he is suppose to call the voucher lady.
See, my nephew was living with my brother. At 18 he wanted to move in with Mom. In hindsight I now see where Mom was in early stages of Dementia. Really TG he was there. Kept her home longer. But he needed a Special Needs Trust, then SSD, then paperwork to get help from the state, DDD. Me filling out all the forms, getting all the Dr. info together, mailing or emailing everything. I am TIRED. I don't want to think anymore.
Flash forward to 2018. My son, who has remained close with his cousin even though the rest of the family is estranged from us, tells me this weekend that my sisters-in-law, who apparently are BFFs, were out and about a month or so ago and were going to “pop in” to visit their dear, dear brother/brother-in-law. The person they have completely ignored for 5 years. My house is a pit. My dog is anti-social. I can’t afford to offer them even lunch. Nor would I want to. I told my son the next time they feel charitable to take it someplace else. I don’t want any of them here.