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What do you say to your mom when she starts crying & says “I wanna go home”??
My mom constantly asks me “why are they keeping me here?”.
“Am I gonna die here?”
What do I say back???
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Hanging, I agree with Polar and Barb, especially after reading your response. I think we all can tell you feel like you’re against a wall with no way out. Do what makes you feel more at peace.

Editing to answer your question, which I hadn’t seen about what to say to your mom;  take things one day at a time. If she asks you can say they need to keep her because it’s not safe for her health to go back home yet. You can keep answering the same until you are ready to say something different. Talk to the appropriate people in the hospital -find the appropriate people-and get help from them. I’m sure they’ve experience with elders that reject the idea of not going back home. Plus, since you’ve to give your mom bad news, remember you’re at least in the right place because she can be taken care of immediately.

I want to mention too that I’m very glad that although you might not even realize it, you’ve moved miles away from the annoyance it caused you to get your mom’s phone calls every other minute, cleaning her commode, etc..to caring about her wellbeing, worrying about not upsetting her and making sure she is safe and at peace. 

In the middle of all you’re going through, give yourself an opportunity to realize that things have changed for better in very important ways, which I know it’s very hard for you to perceive now, but there is light in the middle of the darkness!

All I can do, is pray, and I will, for you and for your mom. Wish you the best possible outcome.
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Hangingon-

You will have to lie to your mom. There is no other way. Here are my suggested answers to your mom's questions.

Mom: “I wanna go home”??
You: I know you do, and I do, too. I want you to go home, too.

Mom: “why are they keeping me here?”.
You: You develop (name some medical conditions she has) and the doctors have to keep you here to treat you.

Mom: “Am I gonna die here?”
You: No mom. You are here to get better.

It is heart breaking to hear those questions and know the real answers, yet have to lie to her. I am so sorry Hangingon.
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Hanging; I want to second what PolarBear says; I would call them therapeutic fibs.

Your mom has chosen not to treat a cancer that she was made aware of...but she won't (if I remember correctly) consider Hospice or palliative care.

Your mom seems to be in deep denial about her condition and has been for quite some time. This is very sad and puts you in a very hard place.

Just remember, it's NOT YOUR FAULT.

You've probably been trained to be truthful to your mom. It's very hard when we have to lie to our parents, because it goes against a lifetime of training. But you probably need to do it.

You also need to get some help for yourself. Is there a social worker or chaplain at the hospital you can talk to? Has anyone raised the idea of Hospice care, which would give you additional social support?
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Hangingon, who did your POA document? Call them and ask what you do about the competency issue.

When your mother asks "why are they keeping me here?" quote verbatim what it says on her rehab admission form. Don't elaborate, except to state that until those issues are out of the way this is where she needs to be.

"Am I going to die here?" - you can truthfully say "I hope not, but we need you to have good nursing care, that's why you're here."

And ask questions. Is there anything she would like? Is there anyone she'd like to speak to? Is there anything you can do for her?

If the response to question 3 is a pitiful "yes, take me home!" give her a hug in response.

You don't have to agree with a person to be kind to her, you know.

You also don't have to take this full-time. When your strength begins to give out, take a break.
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You are ready then, if you were told to have those things. It’ll go well. Good luck.

I didn’t know you’ve gotten problems on the paperwork. That’s so true, call the agency in question and they’ll explain a lot to you. We’ve all been lost as to what to do. It’s a learning process.
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“HolidayEnd
about 3 hours ago
You are ready then, if you were told to have those things. It’ll go well. Good luck.

I didn’t know you’ve gotten problems on the paperwork. That’s so true, call the agency in question and they’ll explain a lot to you. “

I’m sorry but this is confusing to me..
What is it you’re referring to?
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The physiciatrist saw my mom today & says she has depression that why she’s anxious a lot & gets panicky so he’s prescribing Lexipro.
I am not hopeful that my mom will take it since she’s always been against drugs & the few times she DID actually take anything (other then a Valium, which she asked for), she always said she “doesn’t feel right” and wouldn’t take anymore.
I told this to the nurse (she called me to get my consent as POA) & she said if my mom takes it & doesn’t want to continue, then they’d try to find something else for her.
I have a strong feeling she’s not going to take it because she thinks that’s what they do to most people in nursing homes is feed them drugs to keep them like zombies.
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