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JoAnn29 this is a poignant post. Agree to never ask someone to promise, and never make that promise. Sometimes keeping that promise causes harm because it keeps them from getting needed care. Our guilt drives us to keep those promises when common sense tells us otherwise but it serves nobody.
As for adult kids who keep taking from parents whether it be money or time and attention, I've wondered the same with "kids" my age who continue to take. From what I've seen, it seems to be a two-way street with the parents never setting the boundary early on then old habits just continue in a co-dependent way. Then on the flip side, there's the adult kids who are independent and get overlooked by their parents. Sometimes wonder if parents want to be needed? I wish I had a better answer.
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