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River - I'm so sorry, but glad they caught it. It's always a hard diagnosis to hear and your dd being a mom with young children.It's good the older children can help as a two year old can be quite a handful. Prayers for you all.
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CW, I'm just catching up here. What a tragedy! I'm so sorry.

Riverdale, I don't think there is anything worse than seeing our kids ill or in pain. Crying gives me relief too.

Thinking good thoughts and sending healing prayers for your daughter.
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A few months ago I shared on this post I believe that my 43 year old daughter was diagnosed with DCIS with a 9 centimeter growth in her left breast. Due to its size a radical mastectomy was necessary and she had that done in early October. It was considered stage zero and it seemed to be contained.

However now we just found out that some cancerous cells were detected in the growth itself so she is now undergoing chemotherapy once a week for 3 months. I feel somewhat gutted. We had at least been relieved that she would not require chemotherapy or radiation. This will delay the reconstructive process. Her youngest child is 2 so she has barely been allowed to lift him. Her others are 11 and 9 so they do help.

I know it could be worse and is so for so many. I just have to come to terms with it. I thought I had initially but then today I just lost it and couldn't stop crying for awhile.

Anyway I wish all of you the healthiest holidays you are able to have.
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“Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards”!

DH just said “Nice Try but No Cigar” when I asked if he knew where something was, and it all came back. It’s frightening to think that the deprived young people of today probably don’t even know what a Leisure Suit was!
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Cwillie, 2 Octobers ago, one morning I went to CVS, young girl waited on me, that night she was with a group of friends, looking for a party , they drove up the wrong driveway, she got shot in the neck. This stuff stays with you , for a very long time.
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cw - i am so very sorry. I know what that family is going through.

ana - you hit what gets me is these type of situations - it was preventable. Such a terrible waste. I hope the child had no suffering, but I know the family does - big time.
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Cwillie - Many of us are dealing with the very old who are miserable themselves and determined to spread their misery. Instead, death came for a happy young boy, who was living life to its fullest, with so much to experience. It’s so very wrong. Reckless. Preventable. Unfair.
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CW, (((hugs))). It is upsetting, it is the worst thing that I could imagine happening to anyone.
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CW, that’s awful. Of course you’re upset - it’s a child. All the lost potential and a family that will never be the same. Tragic.
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Aww, cwillie, things like that very much upset me all so, your not alone.
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I'm so upset today, a little kid was killed by a car that just blew through when he was getting off the school bus. I'm not sure why this is hitting me so hard other than this is in an area near where I used to live and the kid was around the age of my great nephew 😢💔
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I admit to a certain level of inherent positivity, however I will also admit that when I am around Bah Humbuggers I get a wicked little thrill when turning on the Happy Highbeams!
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Golden, yes I believe that most mental illness are genetic, just as nerodivergent. Also environmental, I read there was more BPDs when lead was in gasoline.

When I think of evil, which is not the correct term, I think of the gilgo beach killer, and people like that.

I'm imagining me and peasuep at a party together, 😂 all the negative Nancy's wouldn't have a chance.
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LOL Golden! As cynical and judgmental as I tend to be a part of me also believes there is good in most people if they are just given the chance to let it flourish, probably because I grew up mostly surrounded by people who made it a priority
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And some people are born with personality disorders. In mother's family there are/were a number of relatives with BPD or something similar. I agree there may be environmental factors in some cases. I suspect it is a continuum. The families of the BPD members I mention were all pretty normal middle class people. There were 5 children in mother's family of origin. They fell in the "normal" description except for mother. I was told by them that mother was different from the start. My dgd has been diagnosed with BPD. I remember her first tantrum She enjoyed it. My dd and my sis have something similar. My childhood home life was traumatic. Why did I escape it? I believe it is genetic and I dodged that bullet.

Now I'm not talking about "evil" people. Not sure how you would define that, but people with serious mental illness.

cw - pollyanna you????

nacy I can believe that you are a bit and not a bad thing either.
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Cwillie, I'm a bit of a Pollyanna, better than being a negative Nancy. Lol , I've always felt that there are some people that are just evil, like 10 percent, most people have been damaged along the way, and turned them into what they are.

Remembering the show, Criminal Minds, a very disturbing show , not a before bed time show for sure! But in the end they always showed what damaged people to become what they were
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Some of you will undoubtedly think that's my Pollyanna side coming out. Although I acknowledge some people are truly evil I think very few are born that way, I have often looked at screwed up people and thought of how they were all sweet, innocent children at some point and can't help but wonder what went wrong, and how we can stop it.
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nacy - I am pleased that your mum is nicer to you. I would be confused too.

way -it's great your mom was nicer to you at the end. I could say the same for the last day of my mum's life but not before.

psue - you will know when you get the report. You can decide you are OK as you are anytime you want to. It's not exercise that makes the biggest difference (maybe 20%) but what and how much you eat.

Ana - Sorry to hear your mom is getting more ornery. For me I erected a visual of a red brick wall with pink roses climbing up it.

Got my new humidifier yesterday and with a few blips setting it up it has been churning out steam since. The humidity hasn't dropped to 15 over night like before.

Psue - "they say" between 30% and 50% so I set the thing to 40%. it's going to take a few days to get there, as everything was so dry. Yesterday with the new one and two smaller ones going plus my stock pot on the stove I got it up to about 30%, but the hygrometer across the room from the big one says 23% this morning. The gauge on the machine reads 36% but that's close to the vents. However I am feeling that it's more moist. My sinuses feel better.
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Peasuep, we aim for 35% humidity. When it’s high (showers, cooking) we get condensation on the windows (we live in an aquarium) and, much lower, we zap the poor dogs when we pet them.

Cwillie, on the flip side, I finally understand why I needed such tall, fortified walls. I’m glad my brain installed a gate so I can screen who I let it. (my mother, 99, is getting meaner - another consult and attempt at meds)
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Golden, I was only in the room for the first half of the appointment and DH either doesn’t remember or is keeping mum about the second half although he did say, immediately after, that he thinks he ‘failed’. The doctor’s findings are pending.

I think the weight fretting will fade a little once I can get out more and get more exercise. Although I have to admit it never occurred to me that I could shut it off at any time!

What is considered normal or healthy indoor humidity, for humans and houseplants?
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Cw, that’s a really neat observation and a sweet way to put it.
Nacy, you’re accepting the peace offering in spite of your difficult history - you don’t have to and no one would blame you if you didn’t, but you are. I admire you.
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Thanks Willie, that makes a lot of sense.
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I think for some people there may come a point near the end when they realize all the walls they built up and fought to maintain over their lifetimes are no longer of service them, they may even wonder how they got so high and why they ever erected them in the first place.
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Way, that's exactly what I'm thinking also. She is starting to accept that she is not young and wants to make things good.
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@Anxiety,

My Mom was nice the last few months she was alive . It was because she knew she was dying . She told me so . Her brain was working a bit better too . It was strange .
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Moms being really nice to me. It feels honest and I'm confused. 🤔
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Nacy, what a creative idea!
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nacy - when I have a problem I write/journal. It helps.
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Peasuep, I'm actually practicing journaling in poem form, or trying to when I can get the time, it's very therapeutic.
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nacy - Thxs. Tooth problems need to be looked after. Between running two humidifiers and boiling water on the stove n my largest stock pot I had the humidity in the bedroom up to 25-30, but today, which is colder, the main part of the condo is stuck at 15. Yesterday I had it up to 24. Tomorrow my new humidifier comes! Glad you had that talk to your mom.

LynnBro - you sure do belong here. It is a very difficult time when a parent starts to show signs of dementia. Glad your dad is at least in an NH. Psue's suggestion of posting separately is a good one, but come back here any time.

Psue - good idea for nacy about the calendar. You can stop fretting about your weight any time you want to.Thx re the stories. It's not my new found alone times. R has had somewhere to bunk at one or another place where he has kept horses. One time he was managing a farm...the pump house years. Pretty chilly in the winter. We lived apart for a number of years I was in Fort Mc and he was in this area b/c of several reasons. Covid being one of them. We both are very independent and like/need space. Hope the drs appointment went well.

Mac this was intended to be a "chat" thread See the original post "Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please."
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