I went over to my mothers house last night at 6:00pm. Her door was locked as it usually is. I unlocked it and said hello. She kept saying hello, hello. I went in the living room and she wasn’t on the couch. I couldn’t see her.
I went in the hallway thinking she might have gone upstairs. I could hear her saying hello. I went in the living room and she was laying on her stomach on the floor next to the couch.
She was awake and alert. I called 911. They told me not to move her. The EMT’S would move her. I held her hand till they came. She was alert and conscious.
They took her to the hospital and I met her there. The doctor took off her sock and said her feet!! Her feet, the skin is falling off her feet. I told him she won’t let me bathe or soak her feet. She is suppose to go to the foot doctor on Saturday.
The doctor said when was the last time anyone saw her? I said I was there Sunday night and don’t know how long she had been laying there. I found her Tuesday night.
I explained how she takes call a bus once a week. She doesn’t want any help.,She won’t let me bathe her or wash her hair or change her clothes.
They did testing. She had a stroke on her right side and pneumonia in her right lung.
They will do a brain scan on her. She didn’t know what month it was. She didn’t know where she was. She told me to get married. I’ve been married 36 years. I can’t stop crying. I held her hand. I just got home from the hospital and will go back tomorrow.
I feel guilty for not finding her sooner. I should have gone over on Monday. I’m feeling overwhelmed with guilt.
I'm so very sorry to hear of this turn for the worse. I think you're doing the right thing to keep her where she's at and I sure pray your brother makes it in time.
May God comfort you in this very sad and difficult time -
Sending you love and hugs -
Not eating or drinking and unresponsive. I don’t want to move her. I’m going to tell hospice that. My brother coming at 3:00. I hope he makes it in time. She appears to be in a coma. I can’t stop crying.
Just echoing what others have said. Very sorry about your mom.
Take extreme care of yourself as you navigate the next few days.
The shock of finding her will have numbed you to a degree.
Hugs to you and your son and your tough little mom.
This deeply saddens me beyond words.
You've been in my prayers since the first time you posted what happened and will continue to be as long as needed.
May God give you some rest tonight -
My brother and I have a meeting at 1:00 with hospice to discuss facilities.
She is on morphine and has stopped eating and only has a swab dunked in tea, or soda, or water for her to suck on.
It affected her brain as she does not know what month it is, she doesn’t know where she is. She thinks she is in the city that she grew up in as a little girl.
Ive asked her if she knows who I am and she said yes, but when I say who am I? She can’t come up with my name.
She also thought my son was some guy named William.
When my husband came with me yesterday she said “Whose that boy?”
They can’t keep my mother in the hospital. She has to be moved to a facility that also pairs up with hospice.
I will know more tomorrow.
Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Since your last post, I'm very sorry to hear your mom is doing worse today compared to yesterday and they have now started the morphine.
May God give you strength and continued prayers for you and your family.
She didn’t break any bones so that stands to reason it would be lividity as I don’t know how long she was laying there on her stomach before I got there.
She was worse today than she was yesterday. They started giving her morphine today.
Conline hugs and prayers for Elaine and mom, too
The admins move things around I think from question to discussion. Those things where it isn't just a question are often moved. I don't go to discussion as often, but think I will from now on.
I am assuming with the pneumonia they ran a covid test? They almost always do. That was negative?
We appreciate your updates. You and Lea are in our thoughts.
You've been a dutiful daughter. You've honored your mother's wishes, hard as it's been, and you've done right by her, every step of the way. DO NOT let the medical people make you feel guilty by asking questions about why her feet are in the condition they're in, or why she wasn't visited more frequently, etc. etc. Only YOU and SHE know the real details of this agreement that she FORCED upon you. If you had your druthers, which you didn't, things would have been different and mother would have been placed in Assisted Living long, long ago. But she didn't want that. She wanted THIS & THIS is what she's gotten.
It's never easy to see a loved one in rough shape. You're used to seeing your mother in fighting mode, argumentative and fiesty, not laying in bed like this. But this goes to show you her vulnerability as well. If this is her time to leave and be with God, then you can let her go knowing you've done EVERYTHING for her you were capable of doing. And then some. You've been a good and loving daughter in spite of her off-putting behavior. She's calm and peaceful and that ALONE should tell you that she's come to terms with where she's at in life right now. Sit with her, hold her hand, tell her you love her, and focus on remember the good times you've had together.
Sending you the biggest hug in the world, my friend. And my admiration for who you are as a human, and my compassion for all you're going through right now. God be with you, dear one.
I know your mom has a long way to go but, I did feel encouraged by your update. I'm glad you and your son are allowed to visit often which I'm sure helps you with some of the anxiety.
I'm glad she's calm, doesn't need sedation, isn't in any apparent pain as well as being able to recognize you and your son. They have the TV on and soft music on in the background. I'd say they are taking good care of your mom!
The images are one of the hardest parts to get out of your mind but, she looks at you with gratitude for having found her. She knows you have done and continue to do what's best for her. I feel like she's doing good considering it's only been a little over a day. So I hope you can try to focus on that and by spending as much time with her as possible. Her bruising of course would be normal to have taken such a dramatic fall and with elderly people having thinner skin but, it will continue to dissipate with each passing day.
I hope your mind is a little more at ease and just keep pressing forward - my continued prayers are with you all!
(((hugs and a smile)))
I found lealonnie on the discussion thread and posted their also. I didn’t realize my post was under discussion either.
Im not sure how it all works with questions and discussion. I usually post under question but somehow mine ended up in discussion. Keeping lealonnie in my thoughts and prayers also and her DH.
You know, she DID get to do it her way. I wasn't aware how stubborn she could be really over all time, but she got to do it her way and now your honor her wishes. I am glad she isn't having an awful time with the breathing from the pneumonia.
Thoughts with you. Lealonnie posted yesterday in discussions about her DH. He goes for open hard triple or quad bypass today. Everyone, hold our two gals in their hearts through these tough days. With you in thought, Elaine.
God be with you. I will pray that your mom has a peaceful passing and that he comforts you throughout all of this.
How is your son taking the visit?
It makes a big difference to go with a family member.
Thanks for updating us.
We are fortunate in the fact that since my mother is in comfort care they will allow 2 of us in her room at the same time any hour of the day or night. Regular visiting hours are from 2pm-6pm with only one visitor in the room.
Shes calm. She’s not sedated at all. Only us on oxygen and has a catheter. She hasn’t felt any pain at all. Is that because of the stroke? Her whole right side is black and blue on her face and shoulder and she said she didn’t feel any pain. The stroke is on that side.
She recognized me and my son. They had the tv on with background flowers and soft music.
She hasn’t had anything to eat or drink except 2 teaspoon of tea. She can’t drink out of a straw. Her mouth is wide open and sounds like snoring sounds even when awake.
I can’t get the imagine out of my mind of her laying on the floor. She told me at the hospital on Tuesday that she was glad I found her. That would have been a horrible way to die. Laying on the floor with nobody around.
But she looks peaceful and comfortable at the hospital and I am so thankful for the doctors and nurses there. They are all doing a wonderful job with her.
Thank you everyone for all of your kind words. It means so much to me!!
Just wondering how you are holding up and if there are any updates you can share with us?
I'm hoping you're at least able to get some rest/sleep in order for you to cope with your mom's situation.
Take care!
Prayers and hugs.