My mother is 58 years old and physically handicapped. In the past two and a half years she has been in three different nursing homes. Recently, she decided she would like to go back to the facility she was at previously. When she spoke to the administrator he informed her that a couple of his nurse aids said not to let her return because she was "too demanding, and they feared for their job while she was around." Based on the nurse aid's request he is considering denying my mother's readmission. I want to know if this is legal? Can they deny my mother's admission simply based on a couple of nurse aids saying she was too demanding? To me this translates as she caused more work for them, which they did not want to do. Can anyone out there give me info on if that is legal?
I guess there are just some people who literally "live" to be the caregiver to generations. I can't imagine that they can conceive of a life beyond that role. I can't knock her for her commitment to elders, but I can suggest that she has little else in her life. Most of us struggle to have a little bit of a life and do our best for our loved ones too. That seems more natural to me and more grounded.
By the way, may I also say that every time I hear someone say, "You have to take care of yourself, because how else will you take care of (fill in the blank)" it aggravates me. You have to take care of yourself, because you deserve to be cared for period!! You have a right to be happy. You have a right to be healthy. You have a right to feel the sun on your face and love in your heart. You have a right to feel like a free spirit. I think it's better to take care of yourself for those reasons. Your not a mule who needs to be watered so you can be hitched up to the blow the next day. Humanity applied to everyone.
Sorry for the rant. Cattails
Why has your mother been in 3 different nursing homes? Why does she want to switch back to one she left earlier? What I'm really wondering about is whether she is likely to be happier in a different setting. Are there some fundamental issues that need to be addressed where ever she happens to be? Might advocating for changes where she is be more productive than fighting to get her into a place where she has had trouble in the past?
All care centers are not created equal! And she is certainly entitled to try to find one that best fits her particular needs. I hope she finds a good match soon.
Nostalgic notions about the bliss of multi-generational living and nursing elders at home are just that. My mother's grandparents both lived in nursing homes (in the 1940's) when their care became more than their children could handle. My father's mother cared for two relatives in her home (in the early 50's), nursing them both through cancer. She made her children promise that when she was no longer able to take care of herself, that they would not bring her into their homes. She even extracted the same promise from me (though I was in my early twenties at the time). Because she cared for their relatives, my grandmother was unable to work. Even when she took part-time jobs to help make ends meet, she would inevitably have to quit them. My grandfather, who had a heart condition, had to work extremely long hours to earn enough overtime to support them all.
Then, as now, choosing to care for elders at home is a luxury not everyone can afford. And, it is often NOT the best choice. Please stop hurling guilt at the people who come to this forum for suggestions and support. You obviously have a lot of experience, so you surely must have some helpful advice to give, instead of hurtful judgements.
I agree do not put mother in a place where she is not welcomed but the remainder of your post seemed to me to be very harsh.
Glad you had the perfect life and the opportunity to care for loved ones at home and you were still able to pay your bills and eat. Tell us where that money tree is.
Maybe an entirely different and new facility might be best? Do hope things work out for your poor mother and hope you find a place where she can be happy. Hugs to you.
My background is as a paralegal in a health law dept. This is not intended as legal advice.