Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

48 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2
THanks for that, madge 1 !!!!
Have been chatting with the sibs, and I will be speaking with a few of Dad's neighbors, just to see if they can help keep tabs on the situation. I am the only child here in the city, the other 4 are all over the country. Just never in a million years thought anything like this would happen!!! lets hope she is not a predator, but my senses are really tingling!!! I am so glad I found this site last night, I am a single person, so no one at home to bounce ideas off, and my friends are getting tired of listening to me. My Sister is going to come early Dec, and will try to talk to Dad about putting some of his funds to our names. I believe they had discussed this with Dad last year, when my sis took over his bills and set things up for him at the bank. Mom did all the finances etc, Dad did not even know how to use the ATM ! Thanks again for your comments.
(0)
Report
Just a thought, a friend of my husband's FIL married a lady at the 11th hour so to speak. He had about a million dollars. His daughter thought and he indicated all of his life that his money was to be inherited by his daughter, his only child, upon his death or his wife's. But as he aged he had demenia and in swooped a preditor. Well they took it to court and the daughter recovered a large portion of the money. Sometimes you do need to sue because of "undue influence". It is not always black and white, but gray areas. Just a suggestion.
(0)
Report
Wow, that is really important, thanks for sharing this. I will have to inform my sibs as they have POA and know Dads lawyer,etc. It is a really bitter pill to swallow, to see him acting so foolishly. Last year he was near suicidal after mom died, and now this? crazy. He says he would marry this lady, but she is too young. So obviously he has asked her, I think. I am having a rough time getting my head around this! One part of me just thinks, oh good, she can look after him since he and I do not get along, the other part of me, is just shocked and jealous and worried. Hard to let this go.
(0)
Report
My two cents.
Let your parent know that if he marries this 'new' woman he must CHANGE OR MAKE A NEW WILL if he intends to leave his assets to his children. Failure to execute a new will promptly has result in untold heartache - as most state law defaults these assets to the wife - however young she is or recently married they are.

A neice of mine grew up primarily being raised by her grandparents on their acreage out in the country. Lovely place the family had long worked and lived on. They had an orchard, sold their extra produce - my neice long planned to raise her family there when the time came. Then Grandma took ill and died suddenly, and soon after grandpa, in his late 70's, married a woman (in her 60's) who my neive had hired to clean and dcook for her grandfather while my neice was at work.
Grandpa died a month after the marriage. Guess who got everything? The woman - his new wife - that he'd known for a few months. My neice was devastated. She tried appealing to the woman's better nature as to what her grandfathr would have wanted - to no avail. The woman soon after sold the property - for big bucks - and moved on. And this sort of thing happens all the time.
(1)
Report
Interesting to find this page. My father is turning 89, mom died last year. A woman 25 yrs younger has befriended him just a couple months ago. Dad is losing his short term memory, but still lives in his own house, still drives. Though now his new friend drives him everywhere, they act like a couple. She still works, but sees my Dad everyday. The whole family is very worried about her intentions, I tried to get to know her over coffee, but she brought my father along! I know there is nothing we can do, but it really hurts to see this happening. Dad has a substantial amount of money, and I am sure that is all she is after. Personally, it is very hard to watch this woman with him. Any advice?
(0)
Report
Interesting to read this thread. My father is turning 89 and mom died last year. Just recently a woman 25 yrs younger has befriended him, and now they are like a couple. The whole family is very concerned, but Dad is extremely defensive about her. I am sure she is after his money, which is substantial. He goes nowhere w/o her. As noted above, he has no idea how much this hurts us emotionally. I just hope she is there for him when he gets ill, he is losing his short term memory as it is, she could talk him into signing anything. I am concerned and hurting.
(1)
Report
5acali, find a way to dry up the money and the gold digger will lose interest fast. If it were my dad I'd be informing the gold diggers parents about what their daughter is up to. Maybe it's old fashioned, but it still can be effective having a girls parents get after a daughter. And none of this 'oh they're just friends' from her folks either. Friends don't hit up friends for money on a regular basis, that's nonsense. If he needs someone to take care of and be needed by, then get him a puppy.
(0)
Report
My dad is 75 and with a 27 yr old gold digger. My family is sick about the whole thing. My dad is clue less. He sees nothing wrong with this. No one can get through to him. She has played him like a fiddle. It is so sad!
(0)
Report
I want to thank everyone for their kind comments.
(0)
Report
I agree with both. Could be either...Just a wait and see and hope he is safe. Nothing else to do...
(0)
Report
My oldest sister and BIL are in their early 60's and my brother is 60 yrs. old. Sometimes, they are gold diggers and sometimes it's just someone looking for companionship. As I said in a previous post, my mom began seeing a gentleman who was in her senior citizen singing group and he was, I think, 5-7 yrs. older than my mom when she passed away. I mean I didn't learn that until close to her death. ...but they just enjoyed being together. If this situation of yours is truly a golddigger going after your dad's money, then I would talk him into getting her to sign a pre-nup. Although, I know how hard that can be when you're dealing with an older person. If she truly just wants to spend time with him, then she won't mind it one bit. I guess I try to look at the positive side of things. After all, he's a grown man. ...but if it makes you better, go for the pre-nup. ((((HUGS)))) & good luck!
(1)
Report
Hey, I am almost 60 and I would never even think of marrying a 80 year old man (my Mom is 80). My husband is three years younger and he is old enough for me. Just nothing but a gold digger you can bet. But unless you can talk him out of marrying her, not much you can do. My MIL was involved with a scam artist (truly, had been in jail). He was her age but a real piece of work. Her children finally proved to her his intent and she let him go. Also the Miami Dade Police gave him a warning, they really couldn't do much but keep an eye on him and do background check, etc. Maybe you can talk your Dad into not marrying her just live together or a prenup anything to scare her off. That worked with my Uncle, the gold digger took off when she realized he wasn't marriage material and she was 50 and he was 70ish. These predators are out there just waiting to grab some old person, disgusting.
(1)
Report
Not much you can do. Hope he is OK, let the authorities know if you suspect abuse. Otherwise it is his choice no matter how foolish...
(1)
Report
Same thing happened here with father-in-law. Thought he really wanted to trade marriage for companionship but she wanted to get his wallet. No reason why someone 22 years younger would marry a sick old man except to get his money and possessions. She did make off with some when he died, but the joke was on her when her son was left as POA and executor. Haven't had a word from her in 2+ years as soon as she took her goodies and left town.
(1)
Report
If my mom or dad were still alive, I'd wonder about the situation
too. Now, when my mom was still alive, (my step-dad had passed away 2 1/2-3 yrs. earlier). I never thought that she'd want somebody else in her life. It was her way or the highway with us kids. My step-dad was a real German (I want dinner on the table at this time and no later). She met a really nice guy who I think was a few yrs. older than her. She passed away while dating him, unfortunately. She seemed to get mellower while going out with him. He made her last months happier (for her and for us to be around her).
It could be that the woman that he's now engaged to may only want companionship. ...but I see your concern. I was concerned about my mom too. It doesn't just happen to men, it can happen to women also. I know if my husband ever passed away, I'm done with men. ...but then, the like bug may bite again. ...and then turn into the love bug. I came straight out and asked my mom after losing so much sleep over thinking about it. She reassured me that he wasn't a gold-digger and that she only wanted his companionship, so I felt much better about the situation when she brought him around.
I still see him off and on at the gym, and he's got Parkinson's Disease (PD) now--although you would never know it (except for his hands shaking & he moves slow. He still drives, but I think he will have to stop driving soon. ...but my mom had Diabetes and Diverticulitis. Your dad is a big boy. I wouldn't work yourself up over it. If it works out, it works out. Some do, some don't. Some people feel that you do need a ring & a piece of paper & some don't feel like you need it. ((((((HUGS)))))). Good luck!
(1)
Report
Just to be clear the woman is not in her 20's she is 20 years younger then him. She is 60 years old. But still she has already been married twice why does she need to get married again and to a man who is 80 years old. You don't need a ring and a piece of paper to be in love and care for one another. This woman has a history of going after older men.
(2)
Report
I remember your original post...so sorry that you were able to prevent this travesty. I think these old goats know EXACTLY what they are doing. They are spending their last few dollars on "services rendered."
I highly recommend that you disengage from this circus. Stop worrying about him and get on with your life. If he calls, speak to him kindly, but do not get roped into the drama. When he needs health care, step back and let the new, young, energetic wife do everything.
You cannot control what any other human being does. He made his wishes known loud and clear. I find these leaches and the men who go for it disgusting. Your father has no empathy for what he is putting his family through. When she cleans him out, let him suffer the consequences. I have had enough of self-centered parents!!
(3)
Report
I hear ya, but I also have to say that your dad probably is well aware of being her ATM, but that's not the 'brain' he's thinking with these days most likely. After all, why in the world would a 20 something woman want an old man except for his money? Now if he were Sean Connery I might have to rethink my answer....
(1)
Report
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter