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Cher belts out the song:
"If I could turn back time..."

Well, now we all can turn back time this Sunday.
(2)
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Our cleaning lady just called.
She is working from home,
and will call in to give us instructions
on what to do.
(9)
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🙂🙂
"If no one from the future came to stop you, how bad can it be?"
(3)
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I don't like elevator music

why?

it is so bad on so many levels
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🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
“Dear Santa,
It was just 🎅🏻 a phase…”
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❤️🙂
"When in doubt,
blame Monday."
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❤️🙂
“I decided to kill off a few characters 
in the book I'm writing.
I feel it will really spice up my autobiography.”
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🥰
Do you ever wake up,
kiss the person sleeping beside you,
feel glad that you’re alive?

Well…
I just did
and apparently I won’t be allowed on this airline again.
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2 guys walk into a bar...3rd one ducked...da-da-dum. lol.
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“A caregiver in bed will remain in bed until acted upon by a large enough panic.”
—Newton’s lesser known fourth law
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🙂🙂

Caregiver flu:

It’s like the regular flu, except no one cares.
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😉😉
Common sense is so rare these days, it is qualified as a super power.
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😉😉

I have hor*rible taste in men.
If I have ever liked you, please work on yourself.
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Officer stops a trucker and asks: "Didn't you see the red light?"

"Yes, I saw it" he says.

Officer says: "then why didn't you stop?"

Trucker answers: "Because I didn't see you."
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Not a joke, but a story that I found funny from our friend John. He was married as a young man in Melbourne. Two weeks later his bride’s father had a stroke, and she went back home ‘to do her duty’. After some terse discussion, John quit, left Melbourne, and like many embittered young men he went north. He stopped at Alice Springs, where marriage was definitely optional. Like many other men, he found another partner and settled down. Some years later, they went south for a holiday. Having a snack at a pavement cafe in Melbourne, a strange woman stopped and said hello....“Who was that, an old friend?” …… “Well actually she’s my wife”! Now he was reminded, he got a divorce.
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😉
You are enough.




We don't need more of you.
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🙂
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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BOJ,
I do agree that you are right to the extent that it's only when I am wrong.
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🙂🙂
"Let's just agree that I'm right."
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🙂
"UNSTOPPABLE
if only I could get started."
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this is a good quote for anyone one doesn’t like:

🙂 
"The only thing I don't like about you
is that constant
inhaling & exhaling habit you have."
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🙂
“About 4 minutes into my run, I decided I want to work on my personality instead.”
(7)
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❤️🙂
"The most stable thing in my life is
my breakfast routine."
(4)
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Estrogen is the nurturing hormone that makes us want to take care of everyone else before ourselves.

Who do I have to thank for this miracle of biology that allows us to wake up to reality after we age more and estrogen declines?
(3)
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What does an escalator say when it stops working?

Nothing, it just stairs.
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Q. What kind of birds stick together?


A. Velcrows
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⭐️🌈
“…when he to whom one speaks does not understand, and he who speaks himself does not understand, that is metaphysics.”
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🙂
"I waved to a man because I thought he waved at me. Apparently he waved to another woman. So to get out of the awkward situation I kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over and drove me to the airport. I am now in Poland starting a new life."
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@BOJ


The 99 problems, 693 in dog problems. LOL!!! Thank-you for giving me a laugh and pretty much describing the last month of my life LOL
You are awesome.
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🙂
I've got 99 problems
but that’s 693 in dog problems!!
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